Oh boy...

So, to be completely honest with you here man, I can't give you that answer. I can tell you why I choose to keep going, but that's like, incredibly specific to me & not necessarily a reason that is salient or transferrable to you. For me it's because I've got 3 nieces & a nephew all under the age of 10, and my sister (they're all hers) tells me that I am genuinely their favorite uncle, because I am the only one who actually talks to them about what's going on with them with school, friends, and things they care about, and I'll actually run around with them outside & so on when I'm able to visit. My sister is also a reason on her own, cause we both grew up broke as hell in a trailer park with a mom who got blackout drunk on a consistent basis, and a dad who had all of the opinions & affects of modern christo-fascist conservatism, but in the 90's. So we're kind of the only two people that really understand each other, and I can't just leave her alone in the world.

So for me it's the fact that I have responsibilities to other people that come before the fact that I don't really enjoy being alive a lot of the time. Again, I can't tell you what's important to you to keep you here, but I will say that there are people who can help you find that answer, that is partly what going to a psychologist is about. If you've got close friends, who you know you can be open with you can also try to broach the subject with them in an understated way, but that's very tricky & requires a lot of mutual trust I think between the two of you. You have to be cautious with it, is what I'm saying.

There is other advice I could give, but this is what I'm prepared to share openly on the site as of the moment.