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this post was submitted on 30 Sep 2023
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chapotraphouse
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That's wild. I always thought I experienced ego death when I took like 8 tabs of acid, but it amounted to me just walking in circles with no recollection of my name or really anything about me. I kept remarking how strange it was, but inside I was feeling a sense of satisfaction. Like 'wow, im this guy inside this body. This guy's awesome and I'm glad to be him.'
My friend was tripping with me on the same amount and forgot how to use language - he'd speak words with an intonation but the words would be gibberish names of football players and household objects.
Compared to most people's ego deaths of getting crushed by some cosmic entity, I do wonder if I had ego death at all? Maybe I'm just simple. I have never had a bad trip in my life, in fact, I'm not even sure if I'm capable of one. Even on horrible drugs where I had moments thinking 'oh shit this might kill me' I was just like well, if you die you die, if you live you live. Not a lot you're capable of doing about it now.
And they'd wear off, and I'd be fine.
edit: simple is probably the wrong word, I am just generally very detached from my emotions (not in like an epic logic way but in an anhedonic way)