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this post was submitted on 09 Oct 2023
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Asklemmy
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Personally, the worst way is to never start in the first place.
Nah, no apology is always better than a non-apology in my opinion. Not apologising makes you a rude person. Doing a fake apology makes you a narcissistic gaslighter.
We will have to agree to disagree on this point.
I have a family member that never apologies for shitty behaviour. They expect to be forgiven, every time without doing anything even an insincere apology.
I'll disagree with both of you. They both suck pretty hard, but equally. The non-apology at least acknowledges a wrong, but often flips the blame (I'm sorry if YOU feel that way). Whereas no apology leaves you wondering if they even know they did wrong.
Well, thank for this enlightement. Guess if i haven't stumbled on this post, i would never knew from other people's perspective.
Well, I often use this apology : "I'm sorry you fell that way..." to acknowledge that people don't have the same kind of sensibility. Some things hurt me but won't and will never hurt you and vice-versa. And that's normal.
I do it as i think it's the norm while feeling sorry. I don't know how they interact, i mostly copy-pasta while i'm doing my best to repair my mistake and improve things.
So, the sentence wasn't about myself but the inherently human's feeling and interaction.
You can word it like this.
"I hadn't realised that you were hurt/you felt that way. And I am truly sorry"
This both acknowledges that you acknowledge how they feel and also takes responsibility for whatever thing that caused hurt. What you were doing originally puts the blame on them for feeling that way, kinda in a passive aggressive way.
Thank a lot for your help :)