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What are your 'name brand only' items?
(sh.itjust.works)
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Stop recommending bidets to me, I'm already convinced. It's just that from the three toilets I've owned in my life, all of them were for one reason or another incapable of being retrofitting with one. I envy your guy's clean assholes
They don’t have a standard supply line with threaded connections?
They do but it's in such an awkward position that I'd need a custum made connection piece
Get a bidet shower then. Controlled spray so there's minimal splash as well.