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this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2023
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Well, I knew from a story my mum told me ages ago my dad wanted us all to have biblical names, which is weird because he wasn't religious in the traditional sense at all. He must have just liked the idea? And sure enough my assigned-at-birth name as well as my sisters names were from the bible. I wrote a list of female names from the bible that I could remember as a way of honouring my dad's memory and one just popped out at me.
I had already picked my mums maiden name as my last name because I was changing that too, because my original last name had a glottal thing in it that always annoyed me and sort of tripped me up? And when I put them together it was so obviously ... me.
Speaking to other trans and non-binary people that seems to happen a fair amount, but don't worry if it doesn't. Names grow on you especially with use. As it happens I got married, changed my last name and added a middle name, and I prefer this version a lot more so who knows.
Also don't feel like you have to tie yourself down to your family. My mum turned out to be an utter shit so I was delighted to be free of that surname choice anyway, and my dad had passed away years before I came out as trans and, while he had a kind heart, who knows how he would have reacted to the news? Don't be afraid to forge your own path. Don't feel like you have to associate your new name - first name or surname - with your assigned-at-birth names, even if your current relationship with your family is good.
That's good to hear, since I've been having some second thoughts about my first name.
i appreciate this <3
for your bottom paragraph, that’s really sweet of you to say. i definitely do hear that a lot of people might hear the name in a song or discover it in a video game or something and just feel… drawn to it in a special way. and not having that experience does make me a bit nervous that what i’ve got chosen atm isn’t really going to work out, but i think that even just having something good enough is far better than my legal name lol, and it’s true that it’ll surely grow on me with time.
and hey, if it doesn’t, i can just start looking again :) it’s not too big of a deal