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The thing that shouldn't be
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this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2023
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How can it be processed to a point it doesn't need refrigeration long term, but its still "literally cheese though"?
It's more to do with the canning and extrusion process than in changes to the underlying product.
The processing is about how they achieve the necessary consistency. You can read comments in this thread about how to get this type of behavior (in general terms) from cheese using ingredients you (probably) have at home.
So you are trying to tell me it's 99% cheese
If you consider peppercorn cheese or something 99% cheese, yes. If not, it's just cheese.