Wife and i both work full time with a 3 year old and my wife is currently also going to school as well. Basically clean as we cook in the kitchen, one of us pick up the toys while the other puts her to bed. Pretty much everything else gets sidelined until it absolutely needs to be clean. We have a roomba that vacuums, but other than that the floors dont get cleaned until one of absolutely cant stand them. Bathrooms get deep cleaned only when people are coming over. Windows get washed once or twice a year. Basically, weve adapted to mess in a way that's tolerable to the both of us in order to enjoy the little free time we have. I think the best thing we've done is not holding messes against each other. I'll tell her tlthat im not doing dishes tonight but ill get yhem tomorrow. If she decides to do them, thats her decision. If she says she's not doing laundry, cool, ill do it if i need something. Im absolutely fine living in qrinkly clothes that came straight out of the hamper. Communication is absolutely key to not losing your mind.