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submitted 1 year ago by Yuritopiaposadism@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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[-] Sandinband@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago

(4) -Who is investigated is also affected by racism, “One of the most striking findings in a recent study is that more than half of all Black children will experience a child-welfare investigation by the time they reach age 18—53%.” and this incredibly important paragraph “There are longstanding stereotypes that Black parents don’t really love their children, that it’s easy to separate the bonds of Black parents and children, that Black children are better off in the care of other caregivers—especially white caregivers. I could go down the list of all of the stereotypes that paint Black mothers as defective, as pathological, as neglectful, incapable of caring for their children. And those stereotypes influence people’s decisions about child abuse and neglect. There’s a whole slew of studies that show that doctors are more likely to suspect child abuse if the child is Black than white, with the exact same injuries. We could trace this back to the slavery era.” https://time.com/6168354/child-welfare-system-dorothy-roberts/

Sexual abuse and foster care

-While around 9% of children are separated from their families as a result of sexual abuse, “One study found that girls living in foster homes are a particularly vulnerable group. The investigation examined 155 adolescent girls in foster care and found that 81% had experienced sexual abuse. 68% of girls reported being sexually abused by more than one individual.” and “A Johns Hopkins University study found that children in foster care are four times more likely than other children to be sexually abused, and those who live in group homes experience an abuse rate of 28 times those of other children.” In addition to foster care increasing the risk of sexual abuse, there is no reason a child experiencing sexual abuse could not be removed from their abusers and placed in kinship or community care. https://helpingsurvivors.org/child-sexual-abuse/foster-care/

Family separation and queerness

-Children whose parents support them being trans are being investigated, the same system that determines what constitutes abuse is bigoted and will be used against any marginalized person. “Gov. Greg Abbott issued a letter directing the state’s Department of Family and Protective Services (DFPS) to conduct “prompt and thorough” investigations into the families of trans and gender expansive youth who’ve received gender-affirming care, asserting that the care can “legally constitute child abuse.”” In a way, this reflects on the previously mentioned examples of Indigenous and Romani children being taken away, because their ways of live (traditional native food, Romani camps) didn’t line up with that the white majority sees as fit, their children were taken to be “raised right.” https://time.com/6150964/greg-abbott-trans-kids-child-abuse/

[-] Sandinband@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago

(5) Effects of being raised by whites in all white areas

-Not seeing people like oneself growing up affects children's sense of identity and can give them poor self esteem. In addition to this, “Black children’s first encounters with racism can start before they are even in school, and Black teenagers report experiencing an average of five instances of racial discrimination per day.” Children of color, not “poc children”, should not have to navigate racism completely on their own with no connection to a community that can understand and prepare them for it. A white person choosing to buy a child of color does not make them less racist than any other white person and they often dismiss their children’s experience with racism as they make no effort to understand it. -White adopters also have no problem using transracial adoption as a shield against racism accusations or as props like in the Hart family murders. https://monroecountycasa.org/why-racial-and-cultural-representation-matters/ https://projects.apnews.com/features/2023/from-birth-to-death/mental-health-black-children-investigation.html https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2023/04/skinfolk-book-matthew-pratt-guterl-adoption-racism/673096/
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/05/us/hart-family-murder-suicide.html

[-] Sandinband@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago

(6)

I do feel like your stance here kind of stigmatizes queer couples in a way I'm a bit uncomfortable about.

I am a queer adoptee. Queer people can have biological children. Queer people are not entitled to another person’s child anymore than a cishet person is.

think you're writing me off as a narcissist that I am very much not

“Narcissist” is not an insult, having a stigmatized personality disorder is not an insult and it is ableist to act like it is.

Honestly, my experiance in childcare, and one shared by many people I know who's experiance with their biological parents were negative, is that a person's biological family are often the WORST people for that child.

This is anecdotal and the options you dismissed for yourself previously like kinship and community care center the child while not forcing them to be with their abusers.

"Parental rights" is a right wing dogwhistle for a reason, and a cover for abuse.

Bringing up parental rights in a discussion about the reproduction rights of marginalized people and the rights of adoptees is disingenuous and irrelevant. As mentioned, these groups are more likely to have their children stolen from them to be sold to white, wealthy people. That has nothing to do with right wing dogwhistles.

Thats awful. Can I just like, not do that though? https://adopteerightslaw.com/faq-adoptee-original-birth-certificates/

I also can't shake the feeling that there is something racist or "woke segregation" about this attitude as well? I have mixed feelings about it. An actual transracial adoptee is telling you the effects it has on us and you’re talking about your white feelings. See the sources for other transracial adoptees experiences.

I'm a bit hesitant to say that a naive child who thinks they want to keep their child should be able to But they should be able to be coerced into giving away their child forever? Especially when many adoptions from Korea, Vietnam, and Haiti did not have informed consent and the parents weren’t aware they would never be able to see their child again?

Are we actually being child-first here or are we being biological parent-first? The reproductive rights of marginalized people and the rights and wellbeing of adoptees are both important. The wants of potential adoptive parents are irrelevant when compared to the rights of others.

But I mean, is your answer here to leave kids in the system? Surely a stable home is better for kids than the system? And again the more I write about this the more I want to say, what about kids from genuinely abusive homes.

The majority of children in the foster system are there due to neglect that can be solved through financial support. The minority of children experiencing physical or sexual abuse can be removed from their abusers via kinship care as priority, community care second, and guardianship last as I said before. The adoption industry does not need to exist.

And the more I read about your stance the more I think your stance is inappropriately weighting the rights of a biological parent OVER that of the child, while claiming to be child-first.

Marginalized people deserve reproductive rights. Marginalized people deserve to not have their children taken away as punishment for being marginalized. In the comment that started our reply chain, I said that adoption was a tool for genocide and listed the examples of Indigenous children being taken from their families and Korean children being sold as spoils of war. Yes, I do care about the biological families rights. I prioritize the rights and wellbeing of adoptees first, and biological families second. You see adoption as the solution because you believe the propaganda that most adoptees are either being abused or were orphans which is just not true. I hope you actually take the time to read the sources and listen to the people you claim to care about.