I'm really glad you asked this question. I'm older than you but fits similar description, cishet with some friends and colleagues who are LGBTQ+ , dated a girl once who was bi. I also would stand up for any of my friends if they were treated poorly or unjustly, or if their identities or preferences were badly talked about i.e. my parents had very negative impression of gay people due to prevalence of drug use and STDs in the local scene until I sat down and talked to them.

Unfortunately I'm also pretty neurodivergent so I don't understand a lot of stuff about LGBTQ+ because it isn't structured in a way that I can understand. I wish someone made a programmers guide to LGBTQ+ or something :)

The upshot is that I struggle with the same dilemma as you do. A while back one of my favourite programs changed their icon to a rainbow one in support of LGBTQ community. I heavily criticized for a) saying that I wish they had told this before hand or given an option to retain the old one because I found the change jarring b) could they be transparent about what they're doing for LGBTQ+ people in terms of donating money or workplace policy because it felt a little bit like an empty gesture.

The upshot is that I have no clue how people in this community would view me in the context of how hard it would be for me to interact with them (I already struggle with you're creepy/emotionless bias when meeting new people, if I'm doing something to offend them on top of that then it's going to be even more of a struggle).

The answers here have been really illuminating whr varied. So thank you to all the people who answered as well :)