And based on people in my life it is a very under utilized one! You know what I have not had happen in my adult life? Have someone hurt me by total surprise. Because I see the warning signs before. It hurts a lot less to not be blind sighted and after that it's just, hey I accept them for who they are and that's that.

I genuinely feel bad for this OP @danieljoeblack and I suggest maybe you journal but only when someone hurts you. (I am assuming it's not literally within the same conversation) but even if it is at least make note you were aware you were mad at them for something. That way you can keep track if it's a pattern.

Absolutely. I think through my direct experience of forgetting why someone hurt me that my body recalls that for me without the actual details by giving me warning signs via anxiety and worry when someone begins to do similar things. It is less about targeting and obsessing over one person and not being willing to forget and forgive so they can grow and change and more about recognizing the signs and protecting yourself in whatever way you know best.

We are all evolving. Just because the scammer that stole my money when I was a kid doesn't mean that scammer will always be one. I still love them but I don't have to trust them kind of thing. If we cannot allow people to change then will we allow ourselves to change? As Above; So Below or something like that could be said As Without; So Within.