And based on people in my life it is a very under utilized one! You know what I have not had happen in my adult life? Have someone hurt me by total surprise. Because I see the warning signs before. It hurts a lot less to not be blind sighted and after that it's just, hey I accept them for who they are and that's that.

I genuinely feel bad for this OP @danieljoeblack and I suggest maybe you journal but only when someone hurts you. (I am assuming it's not literally within the same conversation) but even if it is at least make note you were aware you were mad at them for something. That way you can keep track if it's a pattern.