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How to deal with annoying co-worker
(lemm.ee)
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this post was submitted on 27 Oct 2023
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So... do you trust your HR department and/or boss?
You might be able to get some headway with "I'm sorry, but I've got [this project] and I need to get it done, I need to focus"
if that doesn't work you can either tolerate it, or complain to your boss. something like "I've asked him to stop making fart noises, for example, or won't stop trying to talk to me and I have work to do."
at least he's not like, a total asshole. but in some regards, it makes it harder to deal with. so I'd suggest consider getting somebody else to deal with it.
While I agree with what you you are suggesting part of me thinks that if that will work, someone in the office would have done it already.
For op's sake, I hope I am wrong.
I mean, yeah, people have but and he'll stop talking to them specifically and start mentioning how he doesn't like them whenever they come around or come up in conversation. But he never looks inward and wonders if he is annoying because there's enough people that tolerate him.
It's like a loop you be nice and ignore him he thinks he's cool.
You be mean and tell him he's annoying he paints you as the asshole.
You be nice and tell him he's annoying he throws a pity party and makes you feel guilty for saying anything.
Are others complaining to you about his behavior? Because you're his boss, I wonder if this could function like any other improvement conversation.
What if, instead of calling him "annoying," you pulled him aside separately at another time and phrased the convo as wanting him to focus on "professionalism" and/or "work appropriate behavior"? If you are clear about what that means and bring examples to the table, that might help.
You could cover his passive aggressive responses in the conversation as well--pointing and writing notes and pity-partying are not appropriate ways to communicate in your workplace.
Yeah I'll probably go that route. I've never called him annoying.
the worst I've done is tell him he's not helping when he made me lose my count on something.
I was counting a part when he came to talk to me about something completely unrelated. I didn't respond, and when he asked what's wrong I told him I'm just trying to keep my count. He then he continues to talk about his thing and I lose my count. So I do an exasperated sigh tell him I just lost my count can he come back later. He then started counting the wrong parts out loud so I stop him and say that's not helping. Then he puts on his kicked puppy face said he was just trying to help and went non verbal for an hour after that.
Sorry, I don't know how complex your team's role is, but in our environment of oncology research this individual is not improving their behavior, is disruptive, using your niceness, and I would put them on a PIP to improve or let go. The folks on the spectrum that I've worked with do not react with kicked puppy face, instead they're profoundly grateful for the social guidance and try to improve. This guy honestly sounds a little manipulative.