leads me to believe it's not analog at all, or else how can it be programmed?

Not to take away from your main point, but analog things can be programmed - those old school power socket timers, or that toy car that follows a line drawn on the floor. Maybe those programmable units are tiny baggage analytical machines? But yeah, in the end, I side with you.

I also thought it was funny to talk about environmental damage from all these digital sensors and then using thermometers filled with mercury as an example of an analog sensor.

What's even funnier is that he called a thermometer "a computer." Eh no. You can't make thermometers compute anything.