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Check on your male friends to see if they need help
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this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2023
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I felt very much the same way when I was trying to figure out what was going on and what I believed. What I ultimately landed on is that feminism is really the only game in town when it comes to identifying what is actually happening. I found Bell Hooks' The Will To Change immensely useful in sorting it out -- it's not men vs women, it's the patriarchy vs all of us. One thing she wrote in that book that really resonated with me, and is basically what this post is about, is something along the lines of "the first act of violence that patriarchy demands of men is the destruction of their own emotional selves."
Oh man do I feel that quote at the end
"Man up", "Boys don't cry", "Grow a pair", and so much more (and worse)
Not only coming from the men in my life but the women as well. My grandmothers were particularly bad about it.
And it started as early as I can remember.
The destruction of the emotional self. Being told the only emotions men are allowed to feel are anger and content.
I'm going to have to check out that book, I think it will help being able to bring my thoughts on the matter into a more easily communicable way.