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submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by Suck_on_my_Presence@lemmy.world to c/casualconversation@lemmy.world

Or am I just the paragon saint of puppy love?

Seriously though, do y'all have a crush on each of your friends?

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[-] memfree@lemmy.ml 53 points 1 year ago

One of -- if not THE -- primary causes for attraction is proximity. If you see someone often, you are much more likely to become attracted to them. Family members and 'unavailable' people such as those already married are typically, but not uniformly, excluded.

After that, we tend to be initially attracted to pretty people with symmetrical features, good health, and of a similar social status (we are also attracted to those of higher social rank, but they will tend to self-select themselves to be less frequently proximate as well as rejecting overtures from potential mates of lower status). That still doesn't matter as much as frequent exposure to someone. Ideally the exposure occurs when you are both in a good mood. Bad moods make for less attraction. We also like people with whom we share common interests, habits, and so on, such that more similar people are more likely to become attracted to one another.

So, yeah, 'friends' are generally going to trigger psychological cues of attraction in any group. Most everyone has to deal with such feelings and quash them when appropriate. Some people have a hard time dealing and either pursue when that makes them creepy or they fail to respond when the feeling is mutual.

[-] SocialMediaRefugee@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

the primary causes for attraction is proximity

This is what is behind "office hot". You work with someone 40+ hrs a week who is even average looking and they start to grow on you. You can definitely be attracted to briefly seeing someone too though. I've seen woman briefly that have left me flustered for the rest day.

[-] memfree@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago

Oh yeah, the above does not negate that spontaneous visual attraction people can experience even on a brief and chance viewing. The link I gave doesn't talk about that, but if I remember properly, I think statistically if you count everyone you might see in, say, the grocery store, the sort of sighting that leaves you flustered is a very low percentage of everyone seen.

this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2023
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[Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation

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