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this post was submitted on 29 Nov 2023
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Asklemmy
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Why would your first wife meeting your second wife be awkward? Did she expect you to be celebate the rest of your life? Did you run away with your second wife? Or never tell your second wife about your first? Now I’m curious.
Without going into detail about how their personality types were both wonderful, but clashing, there's the obvious point that my first wife would have to cope that she's been dead for many years and that I moved on. That wouldn't be pleasant. She would probably see me happy with my second wife as happy as I was with her, and think, "what the HELL?" "Well, you died." "Okay," she'd say, and definitely NOT be okay. I might add, "you said I needed to find someone after you're gone," which I think the reality of what that meant in a context in front of her would hit her like an iron fist. We were each other's first, see. My second wife would be gushing towards her, thanking her for everything in an awkward way, because while I was truthful about my previous marriage, I was also really kind. My second wife is also a widow, so she gets it. She credits my wife for "the man I have now," which is true. I am a better person because of my first wife, but I have also changed and "grown" a little since her death. So now, I would be a different person to her. One seasoned by the death of a spouse. That shit changes you.
I think a majority of our discussion would be, "well, what has happened in the world since 2014, then?" and that would be... bad. For all the reasons most people looking outside of this room would know. My first wife would be very upset how things progressed a few years after she died. "Trump? The asshole from The Apprentice?" And so on.
My wives did meet, but didn't know it. My wife was kind of a local celebrity, but my second wife was a vendor IN those circles. I has also met my first wife several times, but only as a character in the background. If that makes sense. We friended because of a local widow's group, which she still runs with a friend. We didn't even start dating until years after both our spouses passed, and only recently remarried. Our friends, many of them mutual since way before, approve of us finding one another.
Wow. Lucky you and your current wife
I think it would be even more awkward if he celebrated his life after his first wife died.
Joys of autocorrect.
Depends how time has progressed for them I guess