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A lot of people are suggesting VPNs
But there's some beauty in DoH/DoT/Quic ports opened
You should check adguard-home for the dns stuff For your questions:
I don't quite get what you mean. But if you say "my domain's dns updates regularly, how would one of the clients of the dns get the new IP", then I would say upstream dns, and maybe pi-hole/adguard have something up their sleeve
In adguard you can have client ids, it can be different things I forgot, but mainly it can be the domain you're using as dns, so john.dns.mysite.com, and you can give 0.0.0.0 response to every client that is not a client. Maybe there are more clever ways to do this
Yes, but for 1 is not so straightforward, you have many options, you either need to update your dns in some way anyway to connect to VPN, or rent a cloud to host(or port forward) the entry point there (or the theoretical option, some selfhosted vpns allow you to do everything without any ports opened)
Adguard-home, using a public dns, route through tor, cloudflare's tunnels, host on a cloud, forward ports to a cloud, and many more
And for dynamic IP, I personally use cloudflare(although I don't trust them) (he-he, I didn't expect previous point to be so long, I wrote this at the beginning)
Ah, and for the VPN I personally use headscale