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Exploits of a Mom
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this post was submitted on 06 Dec 2023
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Student names that really exist in my local area: "L-A" (pronounced "Elldashah") and Hazmat (shortened to Mat). Not had a Bobby Tables yet, but getting that dash into Eldashahs name was a difficult task, I am told.
I've heard so many claims of Ladasha and Elldasha, along with reports of Lamonjalo and Orangelo. I'd expect them to be more prevalent with so many people reporting they know one.
Allegedly real names that didn't break a database so much as people's brains:
Female (fe-MAA-leh) - the story goes that the mother didn't know the word "female" or didn't know it was spelled that way, so assumed the nurses named the child for her.
Ampersand (pronounced as the regular word) - the mother liked the sound of it, and well, IMO, it does have an "Amber" + "Amanda" + "Sandra" kind of ring to it (Not now, Lou Bega).
Shithead (shuh-THEED) - there may be at least two people with this name, or else I've heard the same urban legend / of the same person from two different directions. That is, I had heard of this name prior to chatting online with someone who claimed to have met a person by this name.
In before someone posts the Key & Peele sketch.
In the mid 80's, a friend that worked in a hospital was telling about unusual names. My favorite:
Syphilis (SUH-fill-ess) - the word was on the mother's chart, she liked it as a variant of "Phyllis", and thusly named her baby.
I have encountered a fe-MAA-leh in the wild. Also a Darealest and Dacoldest (brothers), and I saw a sign from the hospital listing a new baby named "Yahansum Guy"
My name is Shithead and I walk like this.
"My name is Shithead and i can do a blackflip"
To be fair, Gaylord is an actual name that exists, and yet, you probably don't know any.
I do.
We even have hotels named after the family.
I have personally known two Gaylords. And there was an olympic gymnast by that name.
But I only hear those other names in stories that have a weird class/race component, and the sheer volume of reports with no corroboration is suspect.
Dunno, teachers meet a lot of students, seems likely to me that a lot of us would encounter the same kid and not forget her.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there is no evidence that anybody has ever named a child la-a. My mom used to tell this story all the time, and I believed her for years that this was a real name until I googled it and read up on it. The name is an old urban legend that may pre date Internet lore.
How odd you think that. She was on my roll call for a term (high school). I am not going to tell you which school, as doxing a student is wrong, so I guess Elle is going to have to remain a myth for you.
So I guess the YouTube video that came out debunking the name "L - A" preceded the birth of the real actual L-A who you met.
I'm not doubting you. I don't know you. I'm just saying there's a YouTube video that debunked any existence of a person with such a name at the time the video was made.
One commenter always tells the truth, the other always lies.
Quick, which way is up?
Hazmat is such a badass name.