Fake...

That ass should be as pointy as Great Fairy tits.

Gotta go with the good ol' "Spike & Ike's" where you mix in some Extra Hot Tamales.

Cabin in the Woods.

I try to find a person who doesn't know about it an force them into watching it to watch their reactions. Almost as entertaining as the movie, and the move is great.

Procrastinate for eleven months, panic at the last minute, ask for a do over, fail, then try to learn Rust in 3 days and program a roguelike.

A 3d printed dock with a nub underneath, so you just push the whole thing down and it hits the button.

What's the equivalent for men?

Anime ____________ Girls

Not to mention 6 Vampires, a Minotaur, a trio of Sirens, and an unfathomable collection of Eldritch Horrors.

Mooby!

The elevator stops at the next floor and a Chadbro™ enters. He does not notice you, and does not press any buttons on the elevator. He sniffs his pits before posting his hand on the wall beside the woman and whispers something in her ear. Her face changes to disgust and she darts a pleading glance in your direction, silently asking for help.

As a Midwesterner where pants and a tank top or shorts & a hoodie are both viable ways to dress for the weather:

Cargo all the things!