154
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 12 Dec 2023
154 points (93.3% liked)
Asklemmy
43950 readers
771 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
Being on friendly terms with past partners is another one. Or for that matter cherishing the memories of the good times with those partners. A lot of people seem to think that after a breakup you should hate your ex forever and burn all pictures, throw away any object they ever gave you,... but that is actually quite unhealthy (unless abuse or stalking or similar things were involved of course). If a relationship does not work out that doesn't mean that other options, such as friendship, might not be on the table and even if they aren't that doesn't mean you can't treat each other like regular acquaintances when you randomly meet somewhere. Obviously they might not be an option immediately after a breakup but once time has dulled the pain a bit a friendship is absolutely possible with someone you initially shared enough interests with to try a relationship.
I feel that. It may be hard to believe but the breakup was amicable. It’s just really hard to make a 7 time zone difference work, especially almost 20 years ago when video chat was not what it is today. The few times we had together I really do cherish, but it was not the right time or place. We’re now only 1 time zone apart and haven’t seen each other since her wedding, but we do still keep up with each other periodically.
It is possible to be happy for an ex and really wish them the best.
That is even possible if you have no desire to spend time with them yourself any more. Not everyone who is incompatible with you is a bad person who deserves a bad life, in fact most people are not.
I recall someone asking "Then why did you break up if you are good buds?".
Sometimes it's easier being friends rather.
Exes belong to life and memories as much as anyone in any other role. No need to forget them any more or less than anyone else (painful feelings and memories are another story).
Sometimes you can take a pause after a breakup to kill feels and later come back to friendly terms.