199

How do I cope with my father hating me? (lemm.ee)

submitted 11 months ago by Cap@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

59 comments fedilink hide all child comments

My father, who convinced me (16 m) at the time to move in with him instead of my mother when they moved. All 3 of the other siblings stayed with my mother. He then kicked me out the week I turned 18, a week into my senior year. Since then he stays in touch only to speak with his grandchildren (now going on 4 kids). I have never been anything but opportunistic and positive in our interactions. Regardless he still acts like I am a burden to talk too. Am now 37, and finally getting to the point I should accept it. I'm the complete opposite with my own children and can't comprehend how someone could treat their child like this. How do I cope? It eats at me. I will answer any questions in depth if it will help in understanding the situation.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[-] FoundTheVegan@kbin.social 20 points 11 months ago

Well, this sort of thing is honestly above any social media's pay grade, so I will only tell you what I did after talking with my therapist

I know how this feels and I'm sorry you are going through it too. After the only member of my family who was even remotely kind to me died (and even that was an abusive relationship), I cut off contact with everyone else related to me and my life has only improved. It's been about 6 years now but i am much happier for it, no judgement, no yelling, no control, life is just... quieter.

You can't control how others act, and your father has had several decades to reconsider. At a certain point, you should just protect your own well being and go no contact.

Being a part of your life is a privilege, not a right.

this post was submitted on 13 Dec 2023

199 points (96.3% liked)

Asklemmy

43965 readers

1497 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS