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How do I cope with my father hating me? (lemm.ee)

submitted 11 months ago by Cap@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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My father, who convinced me (16 m) at the time to move in with him instead of my mother when they moved. All 3 of the other siblings stayed with my mother. He then kicked me out the week I turned 18, a week into my senior year. Since then he stays in touch only to speak with his grandchildren (now going on 4 kids). I have never been anything but opportunistic and positive in our interactions. Regardless he still acts like I am a burden to talk too. Am now 37, and finally getting to the point I should accept it. I'm the complete opposite with my own children and can't comprehend how someone could treat their child like this. How do I cope? It eats at me. I will answer any questions in depth if it will help in understanding the situation.

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[-] KaiReeve@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago

It sounds like your situation is similar to mine. My father is a sociopathic narcissist and I didn't realize it until I was 30 when he effectively disowned me. It hurts to be rejected by a parent to such a degree and I was pretty depressed for a while, but it helps to know that he suffers from a mental illness. Knowing this also helped me to disown him, in turn. He was always toxic and harmful and I find now that I am happier without him in my life.

I do often wonder in what ways my life may have been better had I had a supportive father, but it's much more productive to look forward than to lament over what could have been.

I hope that you are able to move past your father's negative influence and be better off for it. Some men are just miserable people.

this post was submitted on 13 Dec 2023

199 points (96.3% liked)

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