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Basic hygiene.
cause being clean was for women and (insert homophobic slur here)
He only "cleans" himself like twice a year, and even then under protest and not fully, because the doctor told him he wont be let in the building if he came in dirty and smelling like BO and shit anymore.. and that cleaning is basically a 5 minute shower where he rubs a cloth under his arm pits.
Is the twice a year an exaggeration, or does he actually only shower every six months...?
Sadly, no exageration.
And yes, the smell is even worse than you can imagine.
Had the misfortune of entering his bedroom one day and his sheets were black (they were originally beige..), and stiff, and cracked when he sat on them.
Had a dude in my division on a US submarine like this. Stupidly gross. Ended up having a medical order that basically made him shower every day under supervision from our doc to ensure he bathed. Imagine the dude you mentioned but enclosed in a metal tube under the ocean for months at a time.
Shower parties aren’t a thing anymore? In my days scumbags were assisted in their shower by a few larger shipmates and various brushes. It usually only took one to convince them to mind their smell in such cramped quarters.
Post 9/11 there were sweeping changes and a few high visibility hazing incidents that put a hard stop to that kind of bullshit. Not entirely a bad thing but I know what you mean.
"I went to med school for this."
No, joined the military for it. Could have been back stateside, examining some fat person's ass or something.