Now we have a 3 year old front loading washer with a bunch of bells and whistles that have already stopped working shortly after the warranty expired that makes horrible noises which I won’t work on because everything is a pain to get to and they are just way too complex.

Especially if it's a Samsung, I bet it's the "spider arm" and that the horrible noises are the fractured chunks of metal banging against each other when it tries to spin the drum.

Every fucking water-exposed part in those things is immaculate stainless steel, except for the spider arm which is blatantly designed to corrode to death just as the warranty ends.