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this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2023
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I would say in chronological order, social media, violently divisive politics, and the forced isolation of COVID rendered me incapable of socializing anymore.
All of it has made me feel like I cannot function in the presence of others. I still have to go to the office to work, so that's pretty much the extent of interaction I get. Otherwise, outside of work, I tend to not speak at all to anybody.
I won't call it a happy life, but it's safe. I guess I've got whatever a word for social agoraphobia would be now.
I should note that I'm fifty one years old. The first four decades of my life were very social. Then it all gradually faded away.
Social skills are a skill like anything else, and building up the mental stamina to engage other people like a muscle. I know many people who just lost all of that practice and stamina during COVID, and it wasn't a good change for them. I kept up lots of digital contact, like moving weekly pub night with friends to zoom and playing Jack box games, and that helped a lot with keeping those skills.
If you want to start being more social, I would recommend finding little regular ways to rebuild those skills and stamina. Online bookclubs with a monthly web conference can be a good way to start. But if you're happy, best of luck either way! Merry Christmas!
That's a lot harder to do if you don't have such friends to start with.
Yeah the muscle analogy is what I always use and it’s so true.
It's like being bullied or grounded for some behavior crime over and over again. After a while a person stops caring about the things that got taken away and goes into suspension about liking anything because that too gets used as a weapon.