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this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2023
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Everyone should be assigned a new middle name based on a random object and number. Then everyone with the same middle name should be considered cousins. I'll be Dr. Wilbur Daffodil-11, for example. All the Daffodil-11s will be an extended family -- I'll have family everywhere I go. Drop a pin on a map and you'll find family members to meet or catch up with! Lonesome no more!
I don't even want to keep up with my real cousins.
Ah, the loneliness of the apple fallen too far from the tree is perhaps the greatest loneliness of all. A family unmoored from the millstone of genetics might just be the solution you need! Don't let your blood ties get you down, my friend. Recording and producing legend Quincy Jones? COUSIN (and you can call him "Q"!). Secretary of a society for the preservation of local birds, Maggie Mumphries (who I just made up)? PRIMOS. Renowned author and pediatrician Mark Vonnegut? Cut off your sleeves and crack open a Corona like Dom Turetto cuz you're FAMILY.
#LonesomeNoMore2024
I feel this on such a deep level you don't even know. Yamainwitch is always here for you my darlings! Cousins? Hell yeah! Siblings? Why not! For all my fellow unwanteds, I want you, I see you and I love you!!
I love your energy
If everybody is family like that, wouldn't it just lose it's entire meaning and family would stop being something to consider?
There are cultures around the world that work like this. I'm quite confident that I can knock on the door containing the symbol of my people anywhere in the world I can find it and with a few simple words be invited in for a meal and a visit.
You just gotta know the vampire code secret words.
That's fine and dandy until cousin Joe Daffodil-11 stabs you at the Wendy's parking lot.