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seriously. it's not that big a deal. if people in gaza are still standing up to their oppressors every day then you likely have zero excuse for not doing more IRL shit (political reading and writing at home are good, but don't mean anything if you're not applying that theory as practice and then assessing the results and adjusting your practice accordingly).

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[-] arabiclearner@hexbear.net 27 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

For what it's worth, I think an org should also have other activities. That means like a bowling night or something. Or a movie night, dinner night, or going out to a bar night. And, this might ruffle some feathers, it should also be a place where you can meet someone for dating, a fling, etc. That's how most people meet each other, through a shared activity (like school, a club, church, etc.). Democrats and Republicans meet each other in shared spaces like that all the time, but for some reason it's like the ultimate taboo to talk about it in leftist circles. But why? Just cuz some peeps here and there developed sex cult personalities? How many comrades of the past met each other through the Soviet Party or the Communist Party of China or in Cuba or Vietnam? Probably millions.

[-] silent_water@hexbear.net 35 points 10 months ago

it's the sex pest problem, unfortunately. a lot of the women I know in local organizing circles - including myself - have been SAed by other organizers (usually dudes). I don't personally have a problem with dating in organizing circles but I know others do.

[-] DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml 27 points 10 months ago

dating within an org is only a problem when more influential members date less influential members, the representative of a local chapter probably shouldn't start dating one of their members, it creates an imbalance of power, this isn't limited to socialist orgs though, it applies to any organisational structure.

[-] keepcarrot@hexbear.net 4 points 10 months ago

I think this, and also your org needs to be large enough that it isn't dominated by a couple of de factor power players (it's easier to police official positions with power than someone with a lot of social clout). Otherwise any drama just kinda nukes the org.

[-] DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 10 months ago

Yeah, small orgs need to have a very strict barrier for entry, to avoid wreckers and drama, but also need to avoid having a small group form the "core" of the org and decide everything through seniority. I will freely admit I'm not skilled enough at people management to organise an org from scratch like this.

[-] HumanBehaviorByBjork@hexbear.net 25 points 10 months ago

the sex cult pattern isn't just a rare occurance unfortunately. it's practically inevitable in any organization which 1) asks that its members become deeply emotionally invested, 2) places emphasis on stability, unity, and not rocking the boat, and 3) concentrates real power in the hands of those few with the most time, energy, and charisma. Mainstream political parties notably give salaries to the people who keep the party actually running. This allows individual members to subsist on more than the good feelings they get from seeing their friends at meetings, as well staves off the fear that the entire organization might collapse if an abuser is challenged.

[-] HumanBehaviorByBjork@hexbear.net 10 points 10 months ago

but if someone has anecdotal evidence stating otherwise i'm willing to hear it.

[-] TheLastHero@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

Unfortunately I have anecdotal evidence to support what you said and in that case the scandal basically destroyed the entire org since the leadership was involved

[-] pooh@hexbear.net 17 points 10 months ago

Yeah, it’s a huge problem just dealing with the widespread alienation we experience and the mental health problems it creates or makes worse. Trying to bridge that gap could do a massive amount of good.

[-] GaveUp@hexbear.net 16 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Each orgs chapter has an average of like 20 active people, that's why it always devolves into a sex cult in the US

[-] JuryNullification@hexbear.net 14 points 10 months ago

The Chilean socialist movement that brought Allende to power worked because they had Party offices in the community where members of the community could go and socialize as well as learn! There are lots of stories of people who met their first dates at the party community centers, and so the social pressure forced people to become more based to fit in.

[-] TheLastHero@hexbear.net 12 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

How many comrades of the past met each other through the Soviet Party or the Communist Party of China or in Cuba or Vietnam? Probably millions.

I would not be so sure. From what I have read party members in the Indochinese/Vietnamese Communist Party explicitly described themselves as having a sibling-like relationship with each other and sleeping around in the party would cause scandal. At least one man was executed by other party members when a woman comrade reported him, though there might have been some SA behavior going on in that case. I'm pretty sure that the CPC was similar in that regard too. I also believe Trotsky had somewhat of a "reputation" within the Bolsheviks for that sort of thing, which seems to indicate it wasn't that common there either (or that could have just been made up one of his many haters).

Not saying it never happened in history but ultimately people should be there to work and it's the same problems with dating at work, and those problems multiply when you're trying to run the party as an honest to marx people's liberation army. It did seem more acceptable later when those parties transformed into government bureaucracy though.

[-] BovineUniversity@hexbear.net 6 points 10 months ago

I'm pretty sure that the CPC was similar in that regard too.

I'm pretty sure Mao met at least 2 of his wives through the Party. Reading Red Star Over China makes it seem like that wasn't unusual for early CPC leadership either.

[-] arabiclearner@hexbear.net 3 points 10 months ago

Didn't Rosa Luxemburg meet her partners through organizing?

[-] star_wraith@hexbear.net 11 points 10 months ago

I have a long comment history of ripping into Evangelical Christianity. Sometimes I feel like I rail against it more than anyone on this site. I have a million issues with American Christianity that still get me angry when I think about them even though I left the religion almost a decade ago.

BUT… when I think about the time I spent with various young adult church groups or Bible studies, I still have a lot of fond memories. Or even going further back to when I was a kid, my small little church had a pretty healthy social life that I do think made a positive impact in my life. Churches understand that and they’re pretty good at it. All that social stuff you mentioned really does matter. We are so alienated and disconnected from each other. To be able to offer a salve for that I think will help draw people to the org as well as help meet those social needs we all have.

this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2023
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