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2024 Predictions
(hexbear.net)
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this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2024
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chapotraphouse
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Every single moment of 2024 is going to be worse than 2023. So imagine 2023 again but worse and normie dipshits getting increasingly belligerent and unhinged when any of this is pointed out.
Cottage cheese-filled pineapples ala Marguerite Patten become a minor trend on Tiktok for a week.
Your parents get an unofficial separation but are too poor to actually move out so instead chalk sales go way up as miserable boomers with brains fucked up my extremist gender ideology dived their houses in two. Children kill themselves to avoid serving as the middlemen messenger who have to tell the other parent about which bills haven't been paid.
Switch 2 is announced and disappoints as it only does the bare-minimum people expect a console to do. Live-action Zelda trailer drops and people who think video game movies are good defend it using their mental health as a shield.
A "mysterious" disease colloquially known as super-COVID exists and kills 1-2% of the population. The current vaccinations that are 12.5-25% effective against it and cost $125 will be used to blame the deaths on individuals' financial irresponsibility.
Mel Gibson denounces NATO and I'm forced to stan and watch the Lethal Weapon films again.
Edit: Bruce Willis' children speak into his barely-conscious brain via an earpiece to tell people to vote for Biden in a commercial.
Fried pineapple? Or uncooked?
Whatever's more disgusting and discordant with cooking design.
Boiled pineapple would be cursed af
Pressure cooked.
Brilliant
Look on the upside. It'll be easier then 2025!