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this post was submitted on 06 Jan 2024
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Unpopular Opinion
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How exactly did you do it?
I posted online about my interests and made it explicitly clear I was looking for someone long term that enjoyed those hobbies.
I mean you posted where and when?
We met on Yik yak like 8 years ago, the site got taken down cuz people used it for crimes sadly. Ive had some luck with dating sites, but again you have to want more than just sex from them otherwise they probably wont want to be around you.
Yik Yak has since been rebooted.
Yoo thats great tp hear
I tried it once after the reboot and it wasn’t as active, but maybe it’s picked up since.
Find common interests. I found a chat server that reflected a social interest for myself and joined. Met a group of people that were fantastic and met them through that. Results may vary though as this was in 2020.
My advice is don't look to date but to find a connection through other means and / or interests. IMO, people who focus on "dating" often don't express themselves which is what most people use to ask: "Is this person a friend or foe?".
I think, even if you have the long-term intention of finding someone to date, this is the best approach. Not only does it mean you totally avoid coming off as desperate, but I think if you're actively looking to date then it can result in you holding them to ideals or standards they're not looking to or necessarily able to meet. And it can limit the connections you can form - both people to date and just new friendships - because you find yourself dismissing people who don't meet your pre-established idea of what you're looking for.
The fewer expectations you can place on someone, the more chance you have of forming a connection.