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submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by Aryuproudomenowdaddy@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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[-] Aryuproudomenowdaddy@hexbear.net 28 points 10 months ago

Fairly sure it was the post about feds coming to their house for Hexbear activities.

[-] dannoffs@hexbear.net 38 points 10 months ago

They definetly deserve at least a temp ban for that post. If they made it in /c/fakenews it would be fine but the feds absolutely have showed up at leftist's houses for online activity so joking like that in a main comm is wildly tone deaf.

[-] 420blazeit69@hexbear.net 18 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Jokes are:

  1. Funny
  2. Recognizable as jokes to at least one other person
[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 21 points 10 months ago

Which was funny and if you took it seriously, you take yourself and this web zone too seriously. The FBI is busy doing entrapment and trying to get Dale Cooper out of the black lodge.

[-] Aryuproudomenowdaddy@hexbear.net 22 points 10 months ago

No, everything has to be serious at all times and we cannot find any humor in the absurdity of hell world. The last time I smiled was on August 19th, 1991. I wear a dirty ushanka at all times, do not shave, and only take cold sponge baths because hot running water is bourgeoisie decadence. Every day at exactly noon I have the same meal of an expired Maoist MRE I store in a pit covered in old issues of a revolutionary newspaper. I sleep in a bed made of flags from every failed revolution so that they are never forgotten. In the evenings I stare at a picture of vodka by candlelight, but I do not allow myself to drink because there is nothing to celebrate. Every local org has banned me after I attempted to split it by assassinating the leadership. There is no plumbing in my house I shit in a brass bucket with a picture of Gonzalo and Deng french kissing in the bottom of it. My house is actually an overturned T34 in an abandoned junkyard in Wisconsin. I have a single friend in this world and it is a tapeworm named Bordiga that I met after ingesting spoiled borscht on 9/11 in the ruins of building 7 (I blew it up after finding that a nominally leftist NGO inside of it wasn’t sufficiently anti-imperialist, the attacks on the world trade center were a perfect revolutionary moment for me to enact direct praxis against liberalism). My source of income is various MLM schemes in the former soviet bloc that have been running for so long no one remembers who I am, they just keep sending money. I have not paid taxes since McGovern lost the Democratic nomination for president and my faith in electoralism died more brutally than my childhood dog after it got into an entire jar of tylenol. I own 29 fully automatic rusted kalashnikovs and three crates of ammunition entirely incompatible with them or any other firearms I own. My double PHD in marxist economics and 18th century Swiss philosophy (required to understand Engels) sits over the fireplace of my home, my fireplace is a salvaged drum from a 1950s washing machine that was recalled for locking children inside of it. I chose that washing machine model on purpose because I am anti-natalist. During the latest BLM protests I firebombed a Nikes outlet in the middle of a peaceful candlelit vigil. William F Buckley and I wrote hatemail to one another for 47 years until my final letter gave him an aneurysm. The only water I drink is from puddles. George Lucas and I dropped acid together during an MKULTRA southern baptist summer camp and he went on to write the movie Willow about our time together. The best way to test whether an electrical wire is live is to drool on it and shrimp salad is racist. You can make an IED out of potassium and the instructions are online thanks to Timothy McVey, who was actually a committed antifascist communist slandered by the deep state as part of operation condor. Every time a liberal files a restraining order against me, I carve a mark into the wall. I am running out of walls. When Amerika finally collapses I will be ready to lead the revolution. I am very smart and people like being around me.

[-] Dickey_Butts@hexbear.net 27 points 10 months ago

You can joke about stuff without being a shitty litte reactionary. I'm surprised you didn't know that but yeah.

[-] LENINSGHOSTFACEKILLA@hexbear.net 25 points 10 months ago

Melina should have tried that.

[-] ElChapoDeChapo@hexbear.net 17 points 10 months ago

The anti union shit was bad and unfunny but the rest still made me laugh edgeworth-shrug

[-] Dickey_Butts@hexbear.net 13 points 10 months ago

I'm sure it did as it did most of the hexbear marble countertop gang.

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 11 points 10 months ago

What is a marble countertop gang?

[-] Aryuproudomenowdaddy@hexbear.net 14 points 10 months ago

Getting called a champagne socialist for my sense of humor was not on my bingo card.

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 12 points 10 months ago

I genuinely had no idea what thst meant. I'm a line cook and my assembly line is a marble countertop, so I guess that fits.

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 6 points 10 months ago

That one was a bad bit. The rest were pretty good.

[-] hotcouchguy@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago

three crates of ammunition entirely incompatible with them or any other firearms I own.

Ok now hold on, I might want those someday and also I got quite the deal on them, given current prices I think it was a pretty good decision actually.

[-] ElChapoDeChapo@hexbear.net 19 points 10 months ago

Pro tip to keep the feds from coming to your door: some things ehich are illegal-to-say about politicians in your own country are completely legal to say about politicians in other countries

I can't say what I want about biden-fall but I can talk about how tory deserves to have his head caved in with a brick all day and the feds can't do shit

Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer, nor have I looked any of this up, all vibes

[-] AssortedBiscuits@hexbear.net 14 points 10 months ago

Ngl, that post was probably the first time I laughed at one of their posts.

[-] aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net 13 points 10 months ago

The Nintendo switch post was hilarious because people actually thought it was real.

They said sonic was a Nintendo game and people still didn't realise!

that was just depressing lol.

[-] blakeus12@hexbear.net 2 points 10 months ago

yeah i just felt bad for them. i was kinda irritated when i found it was false

this post was submitted on 09 Jan 2024
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