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ELI5 why is anarchy not "the guy with the bigger stick" making the rules?
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Based on all of human history? No
Ever since we've been living in groups there's been leaders and that started before homo sapiens and that's the case in all of the animal kingdom.
Also by the definition of utopia, being an utopia doesn't prevent something from being a natural state so I don't know why you would oppose one to the other.
Your assertion runs counter to quite a bit of reading I've done on the social organization of prehistoric and native groups. Also most of the time people exist in a state of anarchy.