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ELI5 why is anarchy not "the guy with the bigger stick" making the rules?
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You're just redefining the word to make it meaningless.
You could argue that everything is actually anarchy because there are no "god given" or evolutionary required hierarchies. You could argue that everything is authoritarian because as soon as two people come in contact there's a hierarchy established and one person has power over the other. You could argue that everything is democratic or communist, because in any system that doesn't result in everyone killing everyone else, people make agreements with each-other.
The actual definition of anarchy is really based on how it appears and functions. If nobody is functioning as a leader and there's no obvious hierarchy, it could be described as anarchy.