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Like seriously, let's look at this: in Mass Effect the player is a high-profile military careerist who's about to become space James Bond complete with the license to kill, starts hallucinating weird portents of doom after finding an inscrutable alien relic, gets their legal murder license, follows their hallucinations to find more weird alien shit, has to chose which of their crewmates dies in a hackneyed false dichotomy, and ends with revelations about what's going on and an elaborate multi-stage boss fight.

In Starfield the player is just some random asshole who's decided to take up space mining for no clear reason, hallucinates something cool and neat after being told to grab the weird thing by their chortling coworkers, gets to join a country club of amateur astronomers who think those weird artifacts are kind of neat, goes on an adventure to look for more sort of neat artifacts and hallucinate some more, has to chose which of their fellow country club members dies in a hackneyed false dichotomy, and ends with the revelation that everything going on is fucking stupid and pointless and there's an elaborate multi-stage boss fight that's buggy as absolute fuck.

Meanwhile the aesthetics are just Mass Effect blandness taken to a whole new level of blandless. If Mass Effect was oversanitized corporate slop Starfield has been further boiled into a completely flavorless mush. Same for the overall plot: Mass Effect had a generic eldritch horror plot that pivoted from being a climate change allegory to just being "so yeah turns out the eldritch robots are just really stupid, like absolute buffoons, and their whole mission is literal nonsense and even they know it but because they're just big dummies they don't know how to stop doing galactic genocide, whoopsy!" thanks to corporate meddling, but Starfield skips the pivot and goes straight to the vapid "so yeah it's all just meaningless accumulation of pointless nothing, nothing's going on here and there's nothing at stake at all, just lobotomize yourself and join the race to accumulate meaningless accolades!" which uh, framed like that actually reads like a call for help from the writers.

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[-] Aryuproudomenowdaddy@hexbear.net 56 points 10 months ago

I will continue to pat myself on the back for having zero inclinations to even try Starfield.

[-] Rom@hexbear.net 37 points 10 months ago

I gave it a pirate's try because I like scifi and I have incredibly low standards when it comes to the slop I consume. It ran like absolute shit and crashed constantly, and the parts I did manage to get through were boring as fuck. Glad I didn't pay for that shit.

[-] Aryuproudomenowdaddy@hexbear.net 20 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Maybe I'm just getting old and crotchety but I've been thoroughly unimpressed with every open world game that I've tried in the past decade. Had a friend get me to try Horizon Zero Dawn a couple years ago after talking it up for a long time and I was sort of enjoying it until I realized it's just Far Cry with robot dinosaurs, I read the Wikipedia article to get the rest of the plot.

[-] barrbaric@hexbear.net 20 points 10 months ago

Disco Elysium also lays bare just how dogshit all other video game writing is.

[-] GinAndJuche@hexbear.net 11 points 10 months ago

I don’t think anything holds up to that standard unless you go all the way back to the original planescape. Even then, disco is better.

[-] Yurt_Owl@hexbear.net 18 points 10 months ago

Its sad because Horizon could have been so much more. But no you're not old and crotchety most modern open world games after far cry 3 suck

[-] fox@hexbear.net 12 points 10 months ago

I felt the same. I thought the world building and the robot dinosaur miniboss stuff was neat but then I climbed a tower to reveal a new map segment and went "...Ah" and haven't played it since. Seems like a neat setting but I'm really tired of that kind of design.

Really enjoyed Dave the Diver recently though.

[-] lurkerlady@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

assassins creed and far cry really just shoehorned that into everything. at least in assassins creed it felt sensible because youre a weird dude in an alien sissy hypno machine that turns you into a greek girl that can jump off skyscrapers and be fine

[-] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago

No HZD is just an incredibly mediocre game

[-] GarbageShoot@hexbear.net 4 points 10 months ago

Kenshi is pretty cool

[-] Frank@hexbear.net 30 points 10 months ago

the moment I saw the advertisements I was like "Why the fuck are they doing this instead of printing unlimited dollars with TES VI?" and I still don't have an answer to that question.

[-] Aryuproudomenowdaddy@hexbear.net 29 points 10 months ago

I think Todd's been wanting to do a space IP for years and figured it would be a sure fire hit. Tbh after finishing FO4 in like a week because I just ran out of stuff to do I assumed every subsequent game was on a downward slide from there.

[-] Dudewitbow@lemmy.zip 18 points 10 months ago

doing a space game was a dream of todds for like 25 years. it was less about what was demanded and more what hes always wanted to do.

[-] Frank@hexbear.net 17 points 10 months ago

Oof. I guess I do feel a little bad for him then. : p

[-] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 25 points 10 months ago

I don't because he had 25 years to come up with a coherent idea but he never developed it past "the space game"

[-] GinAndJuche@hexbear.net 12 points 10 months ago
[-] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 10 points 10 months ago

Like you think he'd have written something down at some point, but no, he just jumped on the multiverse bandwagon and did fuck all with it

[-] Sinistar@hexbear.net 12 points 10 months ago

I do too. Either a) his quest to make his ultimate space game involved creating a corporation that grew so large that it neutered any creative vision he might have had for that very same game or b) his dream space game was just that bad all along. Neither one is a great realization.

this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2024
88 points (100.0% liked)

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