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how can I develop a thick skin?
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You're allowed to be annoyed by it. That's an annoying thing to have happen. But yelling at her won't fix the situation, and as you've already noted, is only going to make things worse. Feeling angry is OK. Taking it out on someone else is not.
Can you take that emotion and do something else with it? Make a piece of art, play a shoot 'em up game, listen to an angry song, etc?
Incidentally, learning to address disrespect in a respectful manner is a good step on the path to being less reactive.
It’s better to address things early and calmly than to do it late and in anger. Achieving more respect from others will reduce reactivity and sensitivity to insult and loss.