This life is what we can make of it, with a harsh overtone of constant surprises - some wonderful, many terrible.

It's that dichotomy between the darkness we grow calloused to, and the lights we find along the way that bring hope and meaning into our world.

It's hard to face the end - either through our own eyes, or the eyes of those we love... But I think every darkness can be the setting for something else to come.

I've lost enough loved ones to know they're sometimes the only lights I can see in the darker times. None of this helps explain the terrible nature of death, but I think it helps sometimes to know they aren't truly gone to us.

When they leave this world, I think they can actually end up being more powerful because our minds reach out more than ever to connect with their memory. In this way, we are never truly alone, and we always have a light to carry.

As for the immediate grief, I always turn to one of my favorite quotes on the subject:

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. Therefore, trust the physician and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility.

Khalil Gibran