On Feb. 6, a group of families met to lobby senators on issues affecting the local transgender community in Georgia. One mother, Lena Kotler, decided to take her two children with her to give the topic a human face. While waiting to meet with Democratic Sen. Kim Jackson, who they had heard was a big supporter of LGBTQ+ rights, another senator passed by — Republican Sen. Carden Summers, the primary sponsor of the state’s bathroom ban bill. Little did he know that one of the children he would be interacting with, Aleix, 8 years old, was a transgender child.
According to Kotler and other families who were present, the senator stopped to say hello. That’s when Kotler spoke to Senator Summers about how she was there with her kids to “talk to legislators about keeping her kids safe.” Although she did not mention that one of her children was trans, they were present with LGBTQ+ signage - something the Senator apparently missed when he knelt down in front of Aleix and said, according to Kotler, “Well you know, we’re working on that and I’m going to protect kids like you.”
Kotler then replied, “Yeah - Alex is trans, and she wants to be safe at school, she wants to go to the bathroom and be safe.”
That is when, according to multiple witnesses, Sen. Summers stood up and fumbled his words, repeating, "I mean, yeah, I'm going to make sure she's safe by going to the right bathroom," continuing to use the correct pronouns for Aleix. When asked if he would make her go to a boy's bathroom, he then allegedly backed away, saying, "You're attacking me," turned around, and walked off quickly.
This reads as transphobic, but I'm going to leave it up for two reasons:
I'm not trans myself, but my son is, and he explains how he felt something like this...
Imagine you're a pretty average boy, and interested in stereotypical boy things. You like boy clothes, you want to hang out with your friends who are boys, you look forward to growing muscles and a mustache when you're old enough, etc.
Now imagine that at the same time, all your clothes are girl clothes, your name is girly, and everyone around you thinks you're a girl.
That wouldn't match up, would it. It would feel incongruous and wrong.
If you're cisgender, you can absolutely prove you're a boy to everyone's satisfaction, and you're unlikely to get dressed in the wrong clothes or given a mismatched name in the first place. So you probably don't ever have to think about your gender and whether it's being expressed by your body incorrectly.
But for trans people, it's not uncommon for them to become acutely aware of gender when they're young in ways that their cisgender counterparts don't, precisely because of the mismatch.
That's how it was for my son. He didn't figure out he was trans until he was around thirteen, but he knew something wasn't right long before then.