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HP wants you to pay up to $36/month to rent a printer that it monitors
(arstechnica.com)
This is a most excellent place for technology news and articles.
Nope. Power cord pull and refusal to use it for a week or so solved the issue. Different one appeared though where it would print 10 copies if you requested one. God forbid you stopped it mid print. Then whenever you decided you needed something else to print it would resume where it left then print your new thing in 3-10 copies.
Luckily I ran into some open source folk, thank you whoever you are, who mentioned that open source driver is complete for my model and I should just completely remove HPLIP. This solved the issue almost completely. It would get stubborn at waking up from time to time, but printing resumed normally after not using HP software on HP printer. Ended up giving the printer to my brother who was more optimistic than me and I just bought "that one Brother printer everyone has".