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Friend...you have zero idea what you're talking about. Database existing in multiple locations? What in the hell are you even talking about? Single db instance, multiple app servers, and single LB. You are absolutely not experienced with this type of work, and need to just stop because you're making an ass out of yourself with these wild ideas that have no basis in practical deployments. Stop embarrassing yourself.
What if your application has to know a state? Say for certain write requests, only one instance is allowed to process those as it needs a cache that it can somewhat consistently rely on?
(Granted, I wouldn't know why something like Lemmy needs that. But we had that problem at work, and it was a pain to solve while also supporting multiple app instances.)
Distributed lock of any form would work. Memcache, redis, etcd, read access mechanism in an MQ...etc. Only one process would work on whatever it as a time. Simple.
In that case, I'd use a message queue. Rabbitmq, or I use Pulsar at work - multiple subscribers (using the same subscription name) to one queue of messages that need to be processed. One worker picks it up, processes it, and marks the message as processed. The worker either passes it into a different queue for further processing, or persists it to the DB.
The nice thing with this is when using the Pulsar paradigm, you can have multiple subscriptions to the same message queue, each one carrying its own state as to which messages are processed or not. So say I get one message from an external system, have one system that is processing it right now, and need to add a second system. In that case I just use a different subscription name for the second system, and it works independently of the first with no issues.