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Reddit's pathetic attempt to quash dissent
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this post was submitted on 19 Jul 2023
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"We're gonna have meaningful weekly meetings with all the hundreds or thousands of you, and we're gonna take the opportunity to really listen. Now, this isn't just some platitude to quiet you until we take the company public, but you know, we might suddenly get too busy for these once we're diving into our piles of cash."
"We're gonna compile your input and file it away somewhere safe. Look! I already bought a basket to hold all of them and lined it with a plastic bag! And when my comment can gets reeeeeeaaaallllllly full, I'll file your comments into a larger bin until the city files those comments with the other valuables!"
"We wanna show you how much we care. We care sooooooooo much that we're gonna visit you on our "Fuck you, I Wanna be Rich" vacation! We're gonna see the country and occasionally talk to people in a patronizing tone. For all the shit-holes we don't feel like visiting, we're gonna throw you a pizza party! It's gonna be super revolutionary cuz it'll be a virtual pizza party! Pay for your own food and watch us eat pizza while we explain to you that you're not really upset with us, you're just scared of change and passionate about things that don't make us rich. Remember to dress up nice, we'd hate for you poors to make us look bad."