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I'd be angry too
(kbin.melroy.org)
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this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2024
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TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name
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I see a different reason Romulans are so upset. The Romulans and Vulcans were one people at one point with the major split being the Vulcans embracing logic and rejecting the hot-blooded and passionate Romulans. So millennia later do the Vulcans soften and embrace their emotion-having brothers? No. They find these other hot-blooded and passionate creatures called humans and then work patiently to shepherd them and their "Federation of Planets" into dominance in the Alpha quadrant of the galaxy all while still keeping Romulans at arms length. That would leave me bitter too.
The Vulcans didn't know the Romulans were their long lost brothers until Errand of Mercy, did they? Hard to reconcile with a group who noped off thousands of years ago and may not even exist anymore.
Not to say this wouldn't factor into the Romulan's attitude, it probably would, but it would be in an irrational way.
Hard to say. There was direct Romulan meddling in the Vulcan government in the fourth season of Enterprise. Some people on both sides certainly knew, but it probably wasn't widespread knowledge.