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The Terrible Costs of a Phone-Based Childhood
(www.theatlantic.com)
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this post was submitted on 13 Mar 2024
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The terrible cost of bad parenting.
Hey, don't just blame the parents. In the back half of this article the author points out that social media harms youth no matter if their parents let them use it or not because of the social webs it creates. If you choose to keep your child off social media then they could just as easily end up isolated from their peers because everyone else IS using it.
As an example of this, if I got a C on any report card/progress report, my parents would take my phone away for the following 9 weeks until the next one came out with better grades. As a kid with undiagnosed ADHD, that meant I had my phone taken away...a lot. As a result, I had no real friendships by the end of high school, and ate my lunch alone every day. If you couldn't text people/connect on socials, then you never got included in plans or developed those relationships with anyone.
It was lonely, painful, and it fucking sucked. My parents were too wanna-be Boomer to give a shit or even ask. I don't speak to them any more for that and other reasons.
So yeah, social media may suck, but cutting your child off from modern social circles is a much worse parenting choice. Ideally you'd keep an eye on their use and help them form a healthier relationship with it. But I understand parenting is hard, especially when both parents work full time jobs.
I would not have thought of this perspective if you hadn't mentioned it. Thx.
So collective bad parenting....got it.
Yeah, “it’s bad parenting” is tantamount to saying “guns don’t kill people, people do”.
I mean, people do kill people and crap parents do give their kids a phone too early.
But if you remove easy access to weapons and easy access to powerful computers beaming addictive social cues into children’s retinas 24/7 you definitely have an impact on negative incidents.
It’s not bad parenting if cultural norms have shifted in a way to not participate in it would cause you kid to suffer more anxiety and depression from being ostracized from it
Bullshit.
I'm a parent. The first time my kid catches flak for not having a smart phone he's going to say exactly what we practiced, "my parents are crazy, they won't let me have one. It's so stupid, I hate them".
The other kids will find something else to pick on even if every kid has a phone. Period. Children are monsters. It's not worth letting your kid's brain rot and have them try to off themselves when they're a teenager because they never had a chance at being well adjusted just to avoid them getting bullied about phones in particular.