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there's a reason it's "hard out there" you know (OC)
(lemmy.dbzer0.com)
This comment section: "Actually I'm pretty sure the bike fell over for reasons unrelated to the stick"
Nobody is telling men what to actually do to be a lovable person. Just what not to do.
Woman here. (Sorry, don't typically announce my gender, but relevant to the comment if someone else reads it.)
Tbh I wish the conversation were more positive. I ain't no expert cuz I'm struggling with my own advice, but I'd recommend: Try to get a decent job, work on your mental health, take care of yourself, build friendships, try to get in a decent place financially, and maintain a healthy schedule, environment, and diet. Be the kind of person you'd want to date. And treat women like men for the most part. Most people I know in relationships met at work, school, church, dating apps, or through friends / common interests.
But the reason I'm not on the dating market myself is cuz I'm a mess of a human being who doesn't want to be trapped in a codependent relationship. Dating doesn't sound appealing at all when I have so many problems I need to work through first. I've seen what happens when people try to fix their problems with relationships; it usually results in more problems.
Best of luck. Sorry things are rough.
Thank you, sorry if I gave off the wrong impression. I actually said it as I was previously in a situation where I was, but I started focusing on myself (taking advice similar to yours) and it actually does help! Previously I was flat out scared of talking to women. I thought even looking at someone could be creepy/harassing.
Turns out just talking to someone and then asking if they'd like to go out for food or something in a respectful manner after a conversation isn't creepy and actually seems to invoke a positive reaction from them sometimes? Who would have known!
Oh, glad to hear it!
Lol...welcome to interacting with women. It's all subjective and not objective...hell even the subjective measures of success are conflicting.
(Jokes aside, I like that comment a lot. Very astute)