submitted 1 year ago by NineBrowsing@lemmy.world to c/mentalhealth@lemmy.world

5 comments fedilink hide all child comments

First of all, this might be the wrong community to post this on. I would appreciate it if someone could point me to a more appropriate one were it the case.

I've been made aware of this manipulation technique on social media and I sort of saw some of my behaviours, so now I'm wondering: have I "love bombed" someone? I am looking at this with hindsight as our relationship is now over.

I've met this person online and we really hit it off, we had fun chatting and we did a lot of it, any free time we had was a good time to talk. After some time we started dating (long distance) and I complimented them a lot, I said "I love you" a lot and we spent a lot of time in calls and texting.

I never got mad at them for any reason, we only fought towards the end and I never felt bad when they went out with friends or spent time with somebody else. I did have the chance to hang out with their friends as well and I enjoyed it.

So how do I know if all those compliments and all those "I love you" were somehow manipulative? I loved them a lot and I grew to depend on them. How do I know if the things I said were actually hurting them psychologically and, if they were, how can I get better? How can I make sure to never do such a thing again?

If you have any questions I will do my best to answer

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[-] AttackBunny@kbin.social 13 points 1 year ago

So afaik love bombing requires you to be trying to get something out of it. Like if you were an asshole, and threw a chair through a window, and raged for an hour and stormed out of the house. Then you come with flowers, and candy, and some big elaborate date, in order to get them to forgive you and stay. That's love bombing. You're manipulating the person into thinking you'll never do it again, and you'll change, and all that BS.

IIRC it also applies to people who neg others. Say a whole mess of shitty things to someone, to bring their self esteem down, and then throw a compliment every so often, to keep them hooked.

It sounds like you really felt the way you said, and didn't have an ulterior motive, so love bombing doesn't apply.

this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2023

13 points (88.2% liked)

Mental Health

3757 readers

1 users here now

Welcome!

This is a safe place to discuss, vent, support, and share information about mental health, illness, and wellness.

Thank you for being here. We appreciate who you are today. Please show respect and empathy when making or replying to posts.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules

1-Posts promoting paid products and services of any kind are not allowed here.

2-All posts and comments must be helpful and supportive. Do not put vulnerable people at risk.

3-Do not DM or ask to speak privately to any of our members unless they specifically request it.

If a person from this community disturbs you in a comment, please report the comment. If you receive a DM you did not request, send a screenshot of the DM in a message to a moderator. This is a bannable offense.

4-Suicide, Self-Harm, Death-- Extended discussions are STRONGLY DISCOURAGED here. First, mods and community members are caring people, but not experts in crisis situations. Second, we want to avoid Lemmy becoming like many commercial social media platforms, where comments can snowball into counterproductive talk.

If you or someone you know needs more help than can be found here, please refer to the pinned resources.

If BRIEF mention of these topics is an important part of your post, please flag your post as NSFW and include a (trigger warning: suicide, self-harm, death, etc.)in the title so that other readers who may feel triggered can avoid it. Please also include a trigger warning on all comments mentioning these topics in a post that was not already tagged as such.

Partner Communities

- Therapy

Neurodegenerative Disease Support

Avoidant Personality Disorder

Friends and Family of People with Addiction

To partner with our community and be included here, you are free to message the current moderators or comment on our pinned post.

Community Moderation

Some moderators are mental health professionals and some are not. All are carefully selected by the moderation team and will be actively monitoring posts and comments. If you are interested in joining the team, you can send a message to ZenGrammy for more information.

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

talanorchous@lemmy.world

ZenGrammy@lemmy.world

CantSt0pPoppin@lemmy.world

108beads@lemm.ee

jelloeater85@lemmy.world