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Selfhosted
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I have a mesh system made up of Asus Zenwifi ET8s, and I have been very happy with them. They have a lot of cool features, such as having a VPN server and VPN client, with the VPN client allowing me to apply the VPN to only selected devices. It has tons of customization options for those that are knowledgeable about that sort of thing. For example, I can tweak at what signal strength AP steering happens. It has WiFi 6E and 2.5 Gbps wired backhaul.
When I first got it, it was very buggy, and some features straight up didn't work. But they eventually got all the bugs that I found fixed. It's in a really good state right now.
To address your desired features, it does have wireguard. I don't know about DDNS, but it does not have pihole built in. It has adguard built in, but it doesn't really seem to do much, tbh. Then again, pihole didn't really do anything for me either. I ended up shutting off my pihole because I didn't even notice a difference.