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this post was submitted on 27 Mar 2024
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Ummm what? Can you elaborate on this further I don't think I've heard this one before.
That's a horrible story. I had an aquaintance tell me when I was early 20s that when I had kids they wouldn't be as valuable as our friends kids. Why? Because our friends kids are white.
And, at least in the US, that piece of shit wasn't wrong, but I didn't need to hear that.
Did he say valuable, or valued?
Also why do you not need to hear that? Are you planning to ignore the challenges your kids will face? Like … what the fuck is with these parents cutting people out of their lives when they deliver bad news about their kids’ environment?
If someone came to me and said “Hey there’s a coyote outside tonight so don’t let your kids out”, and I said “Well maybe that’s true but I don’t need to hear that shit” then cut them out of my life, I’d see myself as having failed as a parent right there.
Your job is to keep your eyes open, not take steps to purge unpleasant information from your life. I’d be disgusted if you didn’t have kids, but since you adopted the responsibility of having kids and are taking this comfort-over-awareness policy, it’s appalling.
Fuck both your ex-friend and the internet weirdo arguing with you about your family's safety and value, holy shit. Who asked for their toxic parenting advice/analysis????
You made a decision based on your priorities, and I hope you and your family are doing well, and your child is THRIVING!
How the fuck is anything I said arguing about this person’s family’s value??
What the fuck?
you’re still here?
I hate being bullied. When I get treated with this level of disgust and contempt, it makes me feel undignified to just slink away.
You’re being bullied?
Someone shared a personal story and you took the side of the aggressor, and then tripled down on it.
And you’re being bullied, huh?
“The aggressor”?
The person who said “I read a study that mixed-race kids are at higher risk for suicide” is the aggressor to you?
And the person who cast their twenty year friend as a racist for saying this, and ended that twenty-year friendship for this, is not an aggressor at all?
And yes. You perceiving that I have my own issues with people discarding me, and then knowing exactly where to poke to hit that nerve in me, yes you’re a bully.
And honestly I hope you don’t know it. I hope it takes as long as humanly possible for you to acknowledge it.
I am not in control of your actions, you’re making the decision to continue this line of discussion. I only got involved to begin with to tell you to fuck off. Now here you are, two replies deep, telling me off for bullying you. What’s your endgame?
Do you legitimately not see what you did here? It’s like if you heard a stranger say they were cut off in traffic, and you broke into the conversation to criticize THEIR driving. And then while you’re in the middle of explaining why you’re correct, ANOTHER stranger walks up and says “Why are you hassling this person about their driving?” and you counter with “Stop bullying me.” And now you’re explaining to that second stranger why the person who cut off the first stranger is probably a really great driver, despite the fact that all you have to go on is a summary of a single situation.
Hey bud. You can still choose to be kind today.
Step back for a sec and think about what it would be like for someone to judge your experience of a traumatic event from just a few sentences. You might have misspoken or written it out wrong. You definitely missed some important details. Maybe you embellished or condensed some things to be easier for a stranger to grasp.
I'm not saying this rhetorically. Actually stop and just think for a sec.
Does that help put in perspective why everyone thinks you're being unfair to OP?
Someone correctly indicating that mixed race children have lower standards of living in racist countries such as the United States is not someone who should be shunned
As someone else in this thread already pointed out, you are conveniently ignoring the OP's assertion that the "friend" had themselves become a racist, and later STALKED OP. I can't believe it has to be explained that stalkers shouldn't be defended.
Let's say hypothetically OP was in the wrong, and totally misread the entire situation. They cut someone out of their life who didn't deserve it. That's STILL their fucking prerogative. They don't deserve to be stalked for it.
Also you're siding with somebody who has since recognized they were in the wrong. Read their later replies.
I really don't think OP is a credible source, and I don't find their account to be remotely believable.
My point is that, as a work of creative fiction, not only is their post unbelievable, it's also internally inconsistent
And you take that as an invitation to do this shit?
Your opinion has been weighed on the scales of this public forum and has been found wanting.
You can go whenever.
To do what shit, precisely?
Also, if you communicate like this in person then I doubt you have loved ones or friends. Perhaps you should work on that rather than defending racism and believing lies online
Actually my friends and loved ones display basic human empathy. They don’t berate strangers over the authenticity of their trauma. So I do afford them quite a bit more couth than I feel you’ve earned in this interaction.
I hope that isn’t projection on your part, by the way. At this point I mostly just feel bad for you.
If someone correctly stating that mixed race children have worse outcomes in the United States than white children causes "trauma" in anyone, then that person is too mentally weak to be left unsupervised. Let alone vote.
You can't just throw the word trauma around, especially when it's describing an event that didn't actually happen. Pop psychology is the domain of midwits and advertisers, not thinking people
You are all over the fucken place, now the person who told that story shouldn’t be allowed to vote?
Pseudo-intellectualism probably plays better in the crowds you roll with than it does here.
It’s a good goddamn thing you just think you’re a psychologist.
Stop being autistic and hysterical. Take your meds. Go for a hike. Lose some weight.
Again, sincerely hope you’re not projecting 💖
Why not just go back to exploding-heads or truth social? You and your views are clearly incompatible with this particular instance of Lemmy. There's plenty of instances which cater to your worldview and you won't get this response. If you don't like the culture here, find an instance that matches you. That's the beauty of the fediverse - somewhere, there's an instance and set of apps that caters to your beliefs.
Maybe you are getting bullied because you are a hostile twat, if you bothered to agitate a brain cell you could see you don't have any dignity.
Not sure if you read my last comment at all but it was a lot of effort to identify and step away from assumptions I made.
Sorry you’re an emotional wreck right now. Hope you feel better soon.
Not a lot of people here will say this, but props for recognizing you were in the wrong here. It's not easy to do.
You should slap your father for not having the common decency to wipe you on the curtains.
There is a gigantic difference between "there's a dangerous animal outside that you can do something about." And "your kid isn't white (absolutely nothing you can do about that) so their life might suck more."
One of those you can actually do something about, the other is just "sucks to not be white." It's pretty much useless negativity.
I didn't need to hear it because I lived it and already knew the reality for non white kids growing up here. I didn't need a middle aged white man telling me how it is. And I'd rather cut someone like that out of my life for myself, my kids weren't born then, and they aren't going to hear that story.
Your coyote analogy is flawed. This wasn't an immediate threat that I ignored.
I know what my job is as a parent, probably better than you do.
Someone correctly indicating that mixed race children have lower standards of living in racist countries such as the United States is not someone who should be shunned
The less "white" someone is, the more likely it is for them to experience negative social, economic, and medical outcomes; this is because the United States is a racist country that intentionally disregards people of color.
I'm not sure why it's improper for a friend to acknowledge that unfortunate truth. It's reality, and clearly you agree with its conclusions on some level if you left the country yourself
You seemed to have missed
which implies that the mixed race kid is dragging down whites
If you are an idiot or a cunt now is the time to assure us it isn't both.
Is this allowed under the rules of moderation?
Regardless, obviously talking about a white race is a concerning thing to do. But the rest of the conversation did not appear racist at all.
In racist countries such as the United States, a mixed race child will have worse outcomes than a "White" child. Which seems to be what this former friend was saying. Idk why that's so wrong - it's literally a progressive talking point since 2014, and, really, since the 1960s and the Civil Rights Movement
Alright it is both.
The comments were not in the interest of helping the child. The comments were in the interest of criticising the parent, for having a family with a person they love.
You are arguing that a person's lived experiences are akchually different from what his perception was. There was no constructive or uplifting discussion following the factoid being shared. If the "friend" was telling him that some principal went to a cross burning, or some boyscout group leader has SS tattoos, that would have been useful and actionable for the parents. But he didn't. The advice was, you shouldn't have done that. Some cunt advice from a supposed "friend".
If you still don't see the problem, you are a dumb cunt, and sympathizer for racists. Go choke on something rusty you dumb cunt.
Oh look, another tantalising opportunity to relive my worst memories. Thanks buddy.
You're being a crybully about telling a story that doesn't make sense
Rates of suicide are higher in mixed race kids.
What kind of elaboration are you looking for?
So let’s go over this interaction you’re having here:
• This person described a traumatic life event wherein they are given unbidden “advice” that pretty obviously comes from a place of outright racism, no matter how you wanna dog-whistle it.
• You started giving them the exact same unbidden advice.
Do you not feel comically villainous? This is clearly not the time nor the place for this shit, anyone with basic empathy would know that. You’re going way the fuck out of your way just to be an asshole, it’s such a sad way to spend your time.
Someone correctly indicating that mixed race children have lower standards of living in racist countries such as the United States is not someone who should be shunned
If that were the whole of the situation you might have a point, but you miss out on most nuance and context when you boil it down to “someone who does X is good”
A racist saying that a mixed race child will experience more hardship than a "White" child is just as correct as a NAACP spokesperson saying the same thing. This country is structurally racist, which has real consequences for everyone according to their skin color and ability to pass as "White."
Given that, idk what the friend did wrong - aside from apparently talking about "The White Race," which is always a weird thing to do, of course
I really appreciate you bringing the context back into the discussion, hot damn! Honestly, that’s a much more measured and reasonable response than my snarky comment should deserve lmao
I’m not trying to argue that the friend in OP’s story is a racist because of that comment. I do, however, think that OP probably had other reasons to cast this particular interaction as having racist intentions. I’m obviously assuming things about the situation beyond the information provided, but so is the other so-and-so that I’m being an asshole to. Only that individual is also like, harassing the teller of the story over it?
Either way I’m way too invested in this thread, hope you’re having a good day!