So I feel like I very very rarely identify my race one way or the other, but I notice people often apply labels depending on the whims of the conversation. People are not consistent with how they identify me. Sometimes I'm white and other times I'm not depending on whatever point is trying to be made.
I think it's weird because I was never treated like I was white by the white side of my family. It was always made apparent I wasn't part of that club. And the non white side of my family never treated me like I was white either.
But whenever I try to say I'm not white or relate to a PoC experience, I'm told that I'm "white passing"? Uh, first off, that's incredibly subjective and depends on the group. Yes, I have passed as white at times, but I've also been identified as PoC many times, both positively and negatively.
White passing? Sure wish that unhinged vet threatening my life while calling me a sand n*gger knew I was white passing. Boy, would he have been embarrassed.
Really feels like that Aesop fable with the birds and the beasts going to war. The birds ask what the bat is, and the bat says he's a beast. The beasts ask what he is, and he says a bird. This way he doesn't fight in the war, but he's not accepted by either group after they make peace.
Except in my case, nobody asks what I am, they just tell me I'm the other group lol.
Even my partner (pure blooded "legitimate" PoC) does this shit. Always tells me I'm basically White, but after Trump got elected, she said she was scared for my safety with the increase in racism in the country. I'm like, why? Shouldn't I blend in just fine?
Idk, this post got long. These people got me tilted, and I don't know where to post this.
I really hope you can talk to your partner about some of this and it's not festering away at you. If it's upsetting you it's important you're able to tell them how they're making you feel, being being constantly made to feel othered, it sounds dehumanising. The way I read it though, i'm hoping it's lighthearted and they're misunderstanding how frustrating it feels.
what it even means to be white, can be granted and retracted on a whim because it's all rooted in eugenics pseudoscience. if it doesn't make sense, it's because it's fascist trash, it means everything and nothing all at once.
getting real caught up on some of this late last year, someone shared this piece with me that I found really interesting, it's probably not super helpful or whatever but i'm leaving it here cause I spent a while trying to find it.
https://samkriss.com/2020/06/10/white-skin-black-squares/
I dunno, it sucks and I probably couldn't do it (and I hate being reminded the principled thing to do is to say something, to combat liberalism), but I hope one day you can find it in yourself to 'respectfully' tell people when they dont know what they're fucking talking about.
I'm extremely white, I'm pretty close to not posting this because I could be really missing the mark, sorry if it's unhelpful, but you've only got a couple other comments and i'm battling insomnia.
be good to yourself comrade.
I actually do correct misconceptions when I hear them, and I rarely try to keep the peace these days.
Problem is, sometimes I don't realize things actually bother me until later, and if I bring it up after the moment has passed, then I just feel petty.
Oh well, I'll have more ammo for next time. Thank you, comrade.