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Do you feel dumb ?
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If I understand you correctly what you are worried about is moving that into deeper communication when you want to, and recognizing when it's appropriate to do that? I think that takes seeing the same people a lot. All the small conversations first. Mindfulness training, like yoga, or even sales training (you don't have to use it to sell things to people) can help you stay focused and recognize conversation cues better.
Do you have untreated ADHD? You don't have to answer that - just asking you to consider it because that's what this sounds like, it can for sure masquerade as anxiety, too.