"No one who works here at CapitalOne would ever tip this much so we just wanted to double-check you were of sound mind when you did this! :)"
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Other 196's:
I don't know how doing heroin works, but I still know it's terrible idea.
Besides, North America doesn't own the concept of "tipping". You own the concept of perverting it into abuse, yes, but we do have (relatively sane) tipping over here. Which I do know about. But I guess you wouldn't know that, buddy, because the world revolves around North America, eh?
"tips are like doing heroin"
Well you seem like a reasonable person...