I wanna start by saying I'm not under it these days but I've been in the hole. ironically it's precisely the thing in your drawing. I have been well loved in my life, lots of friends - I'd even go so far as to say the hub. But over time, and finally me moving to a new city by myself after a divorce, I found myself utterly alone, but also invisible. I'd try so hard to reach out and make connections - and low key, I don't think weird. But it feels to me like people don't trust a middle aged single guy. Or it really is just me. and where I think I used to attract people to me - I'm not sure that I actively repel them - because I do have good passing interactions - I think they just don't remember me, or yeah that a single middle aged guy just doesn't fit in well. Like I'm invisible.

It's been about 10 years like this now. And I'm starting to get, I don't know used to it I guess. But it makes life feel so very long. If I'm roughly half way done, and the entire second half is gonna be like this. That feels like a long long time.