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submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by mizu6079@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.

  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.

  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.

  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).

  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.

  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

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[-] cly@lemmy.world 61 points 1 year ago

In 10 years, people are going to say "I joined Lemmy before the 3 days without pooping post"

[-] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 year ago

This could be our Jolly Rancher

[-] InEnduringGrowStrong@lemm.ee 8 points 1 year ago

After the self induced constipation, they'll need the poop knife for sure.

[-] Canic@lemmy.ml 0 points 1 year ago

Either that, or it'll turn into a poop sword

[-] goforliftoff@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

I just hope OP doesn't break both arms while they're out doing... whatever it is they're going to be doing.

[-] sysadmin420@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Waves hand, our three envelopes.

[-] Kyle@lemmy.ca 0 points 1 year ago

Please refresh me on the jolly rancher story.

[-] erusuoyera@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago

No. Trust me, it's in your best interests.

[-] voxl@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago
[-] BOB_DROP_TABLES@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago

This sounds like the beginning of great tifu post

this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2023
324 points (94.3% liked)

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